Sample Letter 1

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                                                                                        Today's Date

Representative's Name
Address
City, State, Zip Code
Phone
Email

Dear Mr. or Ms. name of your representative,

      My name is your name; I have lived in your district in your town and zip code for the last however many years. I understand that you must be very busy, so I will keep this communication as concise as possible. The purpose of this communication is to bring to your attention the grievances being suffered by a neglected segment of society.

      Arguably one of the most helpless groups in the US today is non-custodial parents (NCP), about 90% of whom are men. As a matter of course, they have been separated from their children with only minimal provisions for visitation, stripped of their possessions in the name of "the best interests of the children" (as if it were more important for the children to continue to be surrounded by the material fruits of the NCP's labor, rather than be with the NCP him/herself), and in too many cases, falsely accused of heinous crimes while the "process" drags on interminably. During this time, many fall into despair over the separation from their children, causing them to lose their will to work, or even live.

      There are many myths and falsehoods regarding NCP. For instance, the latest studies indicate that so-called "Dead-beats" account for less than ten percent of all NCP, yet laws are enacted to correct this problem. Fully 40% of custodial parents ADMIT they have denied or interfered with court ordered visitation to the NCP, yet there are few laws with any teeth to address this much more serious problem.

      Another startling statistic I recently came across: in 1995, there were over 3 million reported cases of child abuse/molestation nationwide, a ten-fold increase in the previous twenty years. Disturbing? Very much so. What is even more disturbing is the following: of those 3 million cases, over 2 million (almost 70%) were found, on follow-up, to be either false, or unsubstantiated. More disturbing still is that of those 2 million unsubstantiated cases, about 95% were initiated by mothers against fathers, as part of their legal strategy to "win" custody of their children.

      One more example: many people believe that one of our society's biggest problems is youth violence, juvenile delinquency, whatever it may be called. Studies have shown that children (especially young males, who account for most of the youth problem) who have been deprived of contact with their natural fathers (while living with their natural mothers) are three or four times more likely to go to jail than children with frequent contact with both parents. Not very surprising? No. The same studies found that when a step-father was introduced, instead of reducing the incidence of crime, the incidence actually increased (!). This finding was found to hold across most or all socio-economic strata in the US.

      Domestic violence is a serious problem; so is child abuse. Dead-beat parents are equally problematic. The fact remains that these considerations only truly occur in a very small minority of custody cases; yet the legal system proceeds as if they were the rule, rather than the exception. Our children deserve much better.

     Are there any solutions? Here are good suggestions: presumptive joint legal and physical custody upon separation would greatly reduce the incentive to squander precious family resources fighting for a "legal" victory, while the emphasis could be put on shared parenting. As most parents are not unfit, this would radically reduce the family court's caseload, allowing the court to concentrate on those cases which most deserve their attention. Additionally, penalties for failure to provide visitation which are at least as severe as the penalties for non-payment of child support might also alleviate the problem.

     I strongly urge you, at your earliest convenience, to call your friends and acquaintances who are NCP. Ask them about their plight; I expect you will find that the situation is grossly inequitable. Please, in the name of fairness, justice, and the "best interests of the children," inform yourself on this subject and work toward legislation that guarantees both biological or adoptive parents NO LESS THAN the:

"REBUTTABLE PRESUMPTION OF EQUAL SHARED PARENTING"

To find the name and address of any elected local official in your state, click on the "LINKS" button at left, then the "REGIONAL" button at right. Then, choose your state from the list, and click on the "Senate," "House," or "Assembly" links, or click here for your National Elected Representatives. It is probably a good idea to copy this sample letter (as much as you wish) prior to leaving this page.