I have been through exactly what you've been through, so I hope that it helps to know that.
I recognise what you say about the "fight" you feel it has become to remain in your children's lives. It certainly felt like that to me, and finding the fight within me was very necessary for whatever success I made of contact with my daughter (it lasted ten years so not a complete failure I claim)
Quote:
"....... I am starting to wonder if I even have any rights as a parent at all"
You are opening up big topics here, regarding the rights of custodial parents and non-residential parents, which form the basis for arguments put forward by organisations like this one calling for "Reform of child custody laws".
In the UK I think I can quite correctly state there are no legal rights for parents as regards their children (according to a professional working at the National Family and Parenting Institute). The US is different I believe, though from the numbers of aggrieved parents coming forward to sites like this one it is hard to believe things are much better. In practise in the UK the parent with custody does have "common law rights" (which means that courts generally support them in their role, or at least don't interfere with them unnecessarily). Obviously they have the legal right to contact with the child when they gain custody too, although the non-resident parent is denied any legal right of contact or any legal presumption in favour of contact.
It won't help you to know that you now find yourself in the same position as so many fathers, who are treated as little more than sperm donors ultimately. I feel I have to say that though, and if you continue to look into these matters you will discover our predicament is compounded by courts and officials telling us they are doing everything in our child's best interests. Ironically most parents adamantly state this is what they want the courts to do, but then disagree with them when they make their decisions.
I won't bore you with too much more detail here, as you're having enough things to deal with already.
However, you may find the following website useful for the National Association for Non Custodial Mothers (if you register there you will find alot of mothers in the same position as yourself obviously, albeit some by choice):
http://www.nancm.com/?page=home
It is easy to say "do not despair", but with a bit of luck you will find matters improve for you, no matter how bleak they seem now.
Good luck,
Graham