Posted by:

on September 02, 2001 at 03:01:30:

Well it's Saturday night and after opening today's mail, I was greeted with paperwork that my wife filed for divorce. I've expected this for a little while but, of course, this has hit me hard (I'm only human and I guess 1% of me had dreamed of reconciliation. Stupid, I know.) Anyway, enough about my heartache. I've spent the last 3 hours drowning my sorrows and it's time to get back on the horse and focus on custody issues, again. According to the petition, my STBX has indicated she is seeking both sole legal custody and sole physical custody with me merely to be granted visitation. When I read this, I was floored and frankly thought: "what f-ing nerve." I can understand seeking sole physical custody with visitation provided to me since this seems to be typical nowadays, but the sole legal custody struck me as a shock. What is this implying? That I am unfit to even make rational and legal decisions for my son? CD...you were absolutely right when you said that it's not over by a long shot. I've been doing a significant amount of rearranging of work to accommodate visitation and have been able to see our son for approximately 32% of each week. I have also been able to arrange shifts for the next 2 months. I haven't spoken with my STBX in over 3 weeks since her sister is the one who I coordinate with to pickup and dropoff our son. Since I'm not aware of any new men in my wife's life (I wouldn't really know, would I?), I don't really know what the urgency with which my wife is coordinating our breakup is due to. I can only assume that since she has put her NY move on hold, she possibly is seeking to acquire a more legal foothold of the situation so she is free to move, etc, etc.
It's time for me to read, read, read, and decide what my next course of action is because it looks like we're headed for
D-day re custody/visitation. I wish to have joint legal and joint physical custody but it looks like the battle is just beginning. Please advise what happens next. In my response to dissolution papers do I simply put what my choices are for custody and then get ready for court? Of course, I'll need an attorney. I have a little time to formulate my strategy. It's so sad but I can't waste time feeling sad can I? Thanks for the advice. Rich.

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• richito --- CD 19:04:44 09/02/01

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