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the days after...
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Posted by:
richito
on September 13, 2001 at 15:07:44:
Let me preface by offering my condolences to anyone who has been directly affected by the horrifying events we have all heard about over the past 2-3 days. I haven't posted on this site until now because I wasn't sure I could justify even mentioning my problems in light of these world changing events that have occurred. That being said, on Tuesday, I contacted my STBX to ensure everyone was safe and to comfort any fears etc.Everything was OK and my STBX took this opportunity to advise me that she is, once again moving to NY, no ifs, ands, or buts. Her proposal now is to have our son spend time with each of us on alternating 3 months schedules and to alternate vacations when he is in school. This doesn't sound like frequent visitation does it? Also, it seems like this will be very hard on our child. My wife and I are separately coordinating mediation sessions but I'm not sure if there are any reasonable ways that we can "meet half way." I was sure that after seeing what happened in NY my wife would be somewhat discouraged from spending unusually high amounts of time on an aircraft (and of living in NY) but it appears nothing will thwart her desire to move. She simply does not realize that extra income to buy tennis shoes(her example) will not make our son happy if both parents are not continually in his life. Her comments are that a divorce will be traumatic on our son so basically what's the big deal with a little extra trauma. I have suggested she speak with child psychologists on this subject and I am praying that either I can come up with documentaion proving the detriment that will ensue or that the mediator will make sense to her. We both don't want a judge to decide. She is agreeable to 50-50 and even says she will move to NY even if I get custody and she moves alone. Also, I work for an airline and knowing what I know of how things operate (lax security) I do not want to see my son or any of us traveling (frequently) by air until I see that substantial improvements to safety are made by the FAA. I know that odds-wise this may be an irrational fear but things are fresh obviously and still in everyone's minds. The only comfort I have is that I know I can control if I need to move to NY to be near my son, somewhere down the line. But for now, it's day by day, with the legal (and mediation) system and hopefully (God willing) things will change. Rich.
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