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Mediation results
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Posted by:
richito
on October 22, 2001 at 13:25:40:
Well here is how last week's mediation went.
The mediator told me that she feels that if we went to court that the judge would approve the move-away. Maybe so.
We spoke to the mediator for about an hour and I didn't feel comfortable with any proposals that were set forth. We ran out of time so we have another session next month.
Since the session my STBX and I have spoken many hours attempting to work out a plan whereby she would still move and I would ultimately have either more time or equal time with our son. I have been playing hardball with my wife in these custody negotiations but both of us don't feel letting a judge decide our child's future would be good. I just hope I'm thinking clearly since I realize now, after most of the custody battle seems to be over, that I still love my wife. Maybe I'm crazy. I even asked my wife to stay in my apt for another year or two so our son would be older before move, but she feels it would be a step backward. We are both so exhausted in trying to make this work. It's quite possible I may regret not fighting it out to the bitter end with my wife, and I hope I'm not selling out my son's contact with his father, but I feel that I need to realize that it appears my wife is not coming back to me and I am convinced that since she is not coming back, then her only option is to move.
Just to let you know that I received a call from the mediator today and she says that she feels my wife should move and that he should spend more time with his mother. This seems to be the traditional "tender years" thinking that is so prevalent. Maybe it is true? This is obviously biased and I didn't know that mediators actually get involved to that level of advice-giving. Plus the mediator says we should still go to court to work out finances. Why should we go to court if we can work things out on our own? I thought that's what mediation is for? Maybe I don't understand the system. I'm sure my wife is staring down the barrel waiting to get laid off from work just like I am. And maybe I should go to court but a judge probably would grant a move-away on the grounds of dire finances. I pray that what I'm doing is right for everyone's sake. Anyway thanks for listening and I'll keep in touch.
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