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Posted by:
richito
on October 27, 2001 at 00:34:12:
Well everyone, here's what's going on. I mentioned that we went to mediation last week and that we have another session scheduled. My STBX and I first agreed to 5 weeks me / 4 weeks her so I could maintain more percentage even if she moves to NY. Wife then proposed 6 weeks her 2 weeks me so I could attend college and not need to put our son in so much daycare. Follow-up plan was 6 weeks her 1 week me so I would work like crazy for 6 weeks and then take the entire week off so I would not need ANY daycare. This idea arose due to our son's not being aclimated to daycare by strangers yet. Also wife wants me to not pay 1/3 of travel but now 1/2 of travel. Why do I need to be funding all of my wife's plans and investing in my wife's future, even if it will improve my son's quality of life, since she is the one who wanted to not be with me? No one is investing in my future to help me and my son! The more I think about it the more I am ticked off at the mediator getting so involved in advice-giving and even telling me that my son belongs with his mother and that I can "see him".
Hello, I AM HIS FATHER!
Anyway...I'm going to check on Monday if this is legitimate or if I can seek another mediator. I really just feel at this point that we should probably just go to see the judge. Even though my wife is cooperative with the scheduling and offers me not to pay child support, I cannot be sure I will see my son. The bottom line is, I'm Fed-up with all of this crap and even though I've tried to be very accommodating, understanding, helpful, agreeable, pleasant, etc etc. I just cannot agree to any of these plans because I do not have any guarantees that, even if we wanted the move-away, there will be any money to even pay for these trips because my wife does not now have a job lined up. In fact I saw last night at NYTimes.com that 10,000 people were lined up at a job fair seeking employment in this area which is really still a disaster area. I cannot allow my emotions to get in the way because it is so easy as the one who still cares to be trampled on. I don't really have a choice, it appears, but to go to court and seek sole custody. My wife should go to NY if she chooses, stabilize her employment and residence while her sister stays in L.A., finishes high school and helps care for our child. Or my wife can stay in L.A. and seek additional employment while continuing to receive the financial aid she says her relatives are providing right now, and I would be happy to put college on hold to assist till she works out her finances. I don't know what more I can offer and sacrifice because obviously I am willing to basically put my life on hold, and help her as long as my son is near me. Then when things are more stable, and I can be guaranteed that the burden for travel expenses will not rest solely on me, only then will I even entertain the notion of a move-away. I appear to be wavering on this situation because I am trying to do the right thing despite pressures from all directions. But, hopefully I will do what's best for our son.
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