Well enough gloating. Here's the details.
The judge would not permit the move.
We got a temporary order for 6 weeks and then we review the visitation schedule to see how it works when I have a job etc. Of course it's going to work. The judge wouldn't even discuss the move-away!
She refused to apply the rules of Burgess!
I'm not really sure how that can be, but I'm not gonna question it. She said that there is so much dispute on who is the custodial parent (or even if there is a NCP) that she just wanted us to work out a visitation schedule for here in L.A! The agreed visitation schedule is (get this) 55% with me! I couldn't have done it without CD, this website, and everyone's ideas and moral support. The preparation sure paid off. You never know, the move-away may arise again, but it is less likely now especially with my orders for so much time. My STBX was very distraught and teary-eyed. She was very upset at not being able to move and when it came out that her sister was not in town, and we asked that I take care of our son while she's at work, she got a little vindictive claiming she would take off the whole week from work so I wouldn't see him. I think her attorney must have settled her down because she got a little more agreeable after lunch. My attorney said with talk like that, she may lose custody entirely. So we came up with a stipulation with agreeable days and times.
I am so relieved to have this monkey off my back and to simply move ahead in life. I am so happy to know my son will have a father (and a mother)in his life. My wife leaving me should be enough to handle for one year and this move-away has surely been more than most individuals need to deal with (short of terrorist activity).
A bittersweet footnote. Don't gag now. As much as the horrible allegations by my STBX and everything else done to facilitate whatever SHE believed she needed to do, I can't say I got much satisfaction from seeing my STBX crying at court today. I've made it a point to try to focus on fighting for my son, and I don't regret it for a minute. But, I really wish there could've been less bloodshed. I also realize that the entire latter half of 2001 has been hellish because of the actions brought upon me by my STBX, but nevertheless (and not to be a softy or dorky) but I have to simply realize that my feelings mean that I am just a decent person with feelings. In other words, something to be proud of. The fact that after all of this, I can have any mercy, is shocking, but I still won't let my guard down. Too much has happened for me to do that.
My STBX called very panicky tonight asking for me to forfeit 1 of my nights because she says she only has 2 nights a week with our son. And "it's for his sake too". I asked why she signed this if she didn't agree and she said she was upset and my attorney was so nice to her. See what I mean; great attorney. I hastened to point out to her that she had proposed that I only have 2 nights with my son every 2 weeks in NY. She didn't have any response. I know I put her on the spot. But fair is fair. I'm usually not that much of an a-hole. I said I was merciful, but I couldn't resist making the point. I told her I'll discuss it with my attorney, but I think it would be best if I just agreed to the extra day, only once in a while, in an effort to achieve the goal of co-parenting. I don't want to forfeit these hours I have worked so long and so hard for. And, paid handsomely for legal counsel to so ably represent me. Speaking of attorneys...I was represented impeccably and the aggressive stance and arguments presented with such ferver are worthy of television.
Bottom line, my STBX is planning on seeking new/better employment in L.A. which is what she should have done to begin with and could've saved both of us several thousand dollars. I, of course, have a brain slightly freed up from the burden of strategizing 24hours a day on this case, and can focus on my own education/employment needs. And let's not forget about the little guy who now has 2 parents, who love him sooooo much, living only 4 miles apart. We're even talking about our schedule for further into 2002 now, so I think there is hope that we can work it out. I think reality has finally set in on my STBX that our son has a mother AND a father. But my STBX is not trapped in L.A. as she claimed. Even if one of us ever decides to move even an hour away, it's still feasible to have both parents in his life. That 40 mile commute in Burgess is simply a ludicrous problem when I've just survived a 3000 mile move-away.
So to recap.
Celebrating!
Time with son!!
Remaining vigilant (I don't know how to put my guard down anymore)
I hesitate to even mention this because I don't know for sure if the move-away is 100% dead and I don't want to jinx anything but for the sake of remaining positive, I hope everyone will read this and realize that, yes, it is possible to quash a move-away.
You must listen to CD - the custody god.
Thanks again to everyone.
I'll let you know what else happens..