For those not familiar w/my situation, I was a non-custodial mom. Not proven or even alleged unfit, just someone trying to make the best of a really bad situation and wanting what was best for my kids. Made some big mistakes and followed some unsound counsel in the process, and have spent several years (which feels like an eternity) trying to correct those mistakes....What I wanted most was to simply be able to be a MOM to my children. Not a weekend babysitter and an open wallet. But it felt that was never going to happen. Not through my dealing with my ex personally and not through the court system either....(though I tried both)
Then one day a few months ago he called me up and said, "How would you feel if both girls came to live with you?". And he was serious.
Uhhhh, hmmmmm. Let me think about THAT one for a day or two or three and get back with you..... ROFL-yeah right! The answer was easy. YES YES and a thousand times YES!
You see, he had a new job and was moving. 3 hours away from me (he was 1 1/2 hrs). And he wanted to move his GF back in with him (did he only move her out to wait for the heat from DCFS to die down?!). I don't know his true motives, but I'd like to think that he realized that doing both of those things would destroy what relationship he had with his daughters...so he did the only thing he could think of, and that was send them to live with me.
The downside is, my son is still with my ex. Guess I could've fought that, but to what end? More years of legal battles and leaving the kids in limbo...?
The seperation hasn't been easy for DS at all. He says repeatedly that he wants to come live with me too. All I can do is encourage him to give it some time, assure him that his dad and I both love him---and hope that when school starts again in the fall things will begin to mellow out. It' s hard to be the new kid coming in at the end of a school year.
On the other hand, the girls seem so much happier now. Especially my oldest. They've adjusted very well to the changes. Much better than even I expected they would!
Is this a perfect resolution? No. But lets face it--this is divorce (or in the case of those never married, seperation) folks. With kids involved. Ain't nothin' PERFECT about it. Sometimes the best you can hope for is the resolution you can best live with.
To those of you who are still fighting, still struggling, I tell you--PLEASE don't give up. Keep praying, keep trying. Keep walking the high road and taking things one day at a time. With your eyes towards heaven and your love for your child(ren) in your heart....Miracles CAN and DO happen. I can truly testify to that.
Blessings to you all,
KC