The "American way of divorce" (mother gets "custody"; father gets "visitation" and financial child support obligation) is based on outmoded, erroneous, and damaging concepts concerning men’s and women’s parenting roles, abilities, and parent-child relationships. As such, it serves primarily to prolong and intensify the suffering and thereby to inflict great emotional harm on our children.
The rights of a child to his father and those of a father to his child are ignored or at least subjugated by the perceived right of the mother with total custody and control of the child’s life and to the financial resources (alimony and child support payments, medical expenses, sometimes mortgage payments) with which to implement and maintain same.
Indeed, if anyone even says "they’re his children, too," it is in the context of a discussion of his financial support obligations. His nurturing/parenting abilities (present or potential) and his desires not to mention the desires and needs of his children for him, are largely ignored.
According to this logic, fathers don’t "own" kids. Mothers do. Kids don’t need fathers (much if at all) after divorce. Kids need mothers.....