I acknowledge failing to understand Jim's position properly.
However, another very long posts there (thank you for all the effort in these busy times - I say that as I'm about to pull it to pieces again naturally!).
I will only be able to give you a fairly short response here, as I've been thinking about one of your sentences all day, and wonder whether you might like to retract or modify it?!
Quote:
"I support the interests (meaning best interests or BIC) of the children because it is right."
I am not a lawyer as you know, and never will be one, nor am I a psychologist, I'm a "foot soldier" in this family law battle but it doesn't take an expert to pick you up on that statement.
FRANK SAYS USING THE BIC TEST IS "RIGHT" (because that is what it is and all it can ever be - a test applied by family courts or their advisors using some criteria llike the ascertainable views of child).
So why is BIC "right"?
Answer - Because Frank says so!
Why should we stick with family law based on BIC?
Answer - Because Frank (our "parent" and guardian of all our children..) says so!
Obviously I am picking up on one small part of your long and numerous posts. However maybe it tells me why our argument can never go anywhere (you thinking you know what is right for the rest of humanity - fullstop).
When I put my views forward I believe I am careful to say that if my proposals for family law would put more children at risk of harm, than the number who might be helped by them, then that would defeat my ideas/proposals.
You, however, "know" that your views are "right"!
I am sure that experts, like Professor Wade or Dr. Flood would ask you what evidence you have that equal parenting is "right". Professor Wade says there is no evidence (- in a way how can there be when so far most states have only allowed shared parenting/equal parenting where the parties agree). You see it as the solution to cases where there is disagreement between the parents don't you, and at least one of them doesn't want it. So you will have little proof to show the like of these two expert (expert BIC supporters to boot).
So your answer to all the troubles we both know exist in family law is to create a new "equal" system, no one can fully know whether it will do any good or not (to either the parents or the children - and if it turns into a mess then you know who will be getting rich out of it - lawyers and other professionals).
I am looking for a solution that might "work" in the sense that it helps prevent a hostile parent excluding the other one (my rebuttable presumption of contact for NCPs). I hope our children will benefit from that move too, either by knowing that one of their parents cannot be easily removed or by knowing that when they grow up they too cannot be easily removed from their own children.
The court welfare officers who examined my case where like baseball players hitting "home runs" when they thought excluding me was in my daughters best interests. You cannot fathom these people unless you understand how much they want to do just that for my child, and then move on to the next case where a totally uncaring dad who has done nothing for their child is given contact (because the child says they want to see him - I'm not against that just think it is such a nonsense!).
This thread is due to be archived soon because it is a new month, so whether you made a faux pas or not it will soon be history. I have discovered you were introduced to equal parenting and after initially querying it have become an advocate.
It is possible we can go no further however unless you wish to reconsider whether you have a divine right to know what is right.
Apologies for concentrating on such a small part of your long post - I hope I'll get the chance to respond to the rest if I can think of anything new/useful - and I know you are a good man only trying to do good too.
ATB, Graham