Father one, recently separated from his wife, having regular access/contact but wishes to have equal time with the children as his former spouse does.
Father Two, no contact at all with his child for ten years.
The conversation begins:-
Father one: "I wanted my children to spend the whole of next week at my house, but my ex. has denied me this time."
Father two: "Oh dear, that sounds hard to accept, I know how difficult it can be to organise contact from the days when I used to see my children, unfortunately I haven't seen my children for ten years."
Father one: "That sounds like a child's worst nightmare. Keep fighting for your kids. They are worth it. We need to support the law in favour of 50%:50% equal parenting, which calls for maximized parenting time and thus rebuttably guarantees contact in all cases other than child endangerment."
Father two: "I am told that only about half of the children who have become alienated from a parent ever try to contact them again."
Father One: Even if there is only one child who is permanently alienated, it is too many. Some alienation cases are lifelong and some aren't, but the alienated parent should make the first moves to repair the wounds. I certainly wouldn't sit back and wait!"
Father Two: "Can an equal parenting legal presumption help those who haven't had any contact for a long time?"
Father One: "Yes!!! Maximized parenting time calls for a rebuttable presumption of access for up to half of the child's time. Zero contact is far less than half and therefore contrary to the proposed equal parenting laws. Zero percent is NOT fifty percent. You do the math."
Father Two: "But what if I don't WANT 50%? What if I only want 20% of my child's time?"
Father One: "Under current law you never know. However, if an equal parenting law is enacted, then of course you could opt for 20% and there would have to be a very high burden of proof to take that away from you. Just don't try to ask for 60% of the child's time unless the other parent agrees. 'Aint gonna happen."
Father Two: "Hey you just adopted American slang."
Father One: "Equal parenting legislation will help you, but it will also help people like me, my children and really even my ex."
Father Two: "How dare you try to tell her what you think is best for her children?"
Father One: "Last time I checked, they are my children too. Equal parenting advocates believe that BOTH parents have the right to raise their children. It is those who believe in UNequal parenting who believe that one parent dare not have any opinion on the care of their children."
Father two: "At least my children are nearly old enough to look after themselves now. What will you do when your children reach eighteen."
Father one: "Their two homes will soon become three. They know they have two parents who love them and support them as they begin to build their adult lives with the backing of two loving parents. Our relationship is solid, but it wasn't always easy with all of that fighting that comes with the adversarial divorce system. For some reason, the government is determined to force fighting by insisting that a child deserves only ONE parent."
Father two: "I see, but unfortunately, I don't see myself as being there for my children for as long as I live."
Father one: "I could never see it any other way."
Father Two: "I would be happy to simply have SOME contact with my child."
Father One: "I am with you 100%. You have my complete support. Will you join forces with us in fighting against parent-child separation?"
Father Two: "No, because I FAVOR parent-child separation, as long as it isn't a COMPLETE separation. I don't want to support you having more time with your child. I want YOU to support me having time with MY child."
Father One: "But since we both want to combat the separation of children from their loving parents, why not work together toward this common goal?"
Father Two: "I would prefer to fight AGAINST people who have minimal time with their children, but want MORE time. I want to squeeze myself in between those who want to increase existing parenting time and those who would exclude parents altogether. If you already have SOME time with your children, but you want more, I will not support you and in fact, I will oppose you. I will only align with those who want SOME, but ONLY a little, parenting time."
Father One: "That doesn't leave very many people that will see things your way."
Father Two: "So I've noticed. I've painted myself into a corner where I've made sure that not a single human being alive can agree with my stance. Everyone either disagrees with my hope for parental contact or I disagree with THEM about contact increased to an equal point. They must agree to SOME contact, but not too much. By keeping that gray area vague I'm sort of a permanent devil's advocate."
Father One: "Hmmm. Have you found this to be effective?"
Father Two: "Not in the slightest."
Father One: "Then why do you do it?"
Father Two: "I enjoy the debate."