My quote was this:- "To return to my comment about all proposals for family law having to produce an outcome that is ultimately best for children (albeit that I believe moving away from the BIC test is the only way to achieve this in many cases)."
Here is your quote:- "This is a hypocritical statement. You are saying that you want to get away from doing what is in children's interests for the sake of children's interests. Why are you fighting children's interests again? You just showed that you DO consider the interests of a child important. You can't say that you support something and oppose it in the same statement."
It is not the correct to say:- "Wanting what is best for children means you cannot consider the parent's interests where they separate from the children's interests."
All you have got to do Frank in order to accept my proposition is to accept that if the courts granted one father who might have lost his contact on the strict application of the BIC test (or else he'd have given up because he didn't believe he could maintain contact). He then went on to become a better than expected father, thus my argument works.
To repeat myself - it wasn't thought by the courts that this one man's contact with his children was going to be beneficial to them (lets say because his ex. was so hostile) - BUT they granted him contact anyway, because he hadn't ever been a danger to anyone etc. and had previously been a good enough father. He went on to 'turn the corner' - maybe he started getting on better with his ex. wife when he felt his contact with his children wasn't threatened so much - and became a real star dad (this is almost an "Equal Parenting argument I know??).
Do try once again to accept that there may be something in what this 'old fool' is trying to tell you please.
If we are ever going to meet in the middle over this topic it will have to be on some grounds like this or else one of us will have to have lost their battle or given up their principles.
I've waivered a little recently, especially when I nearly put forward my argument for social engineering.
It is very very difficult, as we've both proved to each other, to resolve these kinds of disputes.
Is it any wonder you often have mayhem when two former partners or spouses get going over what is best for their children? You used to think you loved that person and now they are treating you like a stranger (which you've probably become after all) and forcing you out of your child's life. Any children involved are going to feel uneasy about their relationships with one or other of their parents at the best of times, given the two of them are so much at daggers drawn with each other.
Put forward one olive branch on the "BIC issue" and I will undoubtedly snap your hand off in my hurry to accept it and put this argument to bed.
All the best, Graham