Eric Ericson, the leader of the internet web site FIRM today appeared with Furloughed Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf (M.S.S.) and announced that “Rap Minister Mo” (as he is called at FIRM) has a brand new gig!" Ericson explained that Rap Minister Mo will oversee press relations for FIRM and its members. Ericson based his appointment on Rap Minister Mo’s accurate and cutting edge commentary during the Iraq war. “It will provide us with the credibility that we have been lacking,” Ericson opined.
In his first announcement for FIRM Rap Minister Mo stated, “I do not think the Americans will every enter Baghdad.”
Rap Minister Mo, asked if he had been dissuaded from accepting the position at FIRM by Ericson’s reputation stated, ”I ‘av been told that Meester Earacheson’s least charming traits, aside from me being a stoopid ideooot, obnoxious yerk, ignorant un-American scumbag, hateful maggot, pathological abuser of exclamation marks, and wretched shell of a man, is that he is not an Iraqi extremist. I can fill that void!”
No sooner has Rap Minister Mo articulated his words of support when tragedy struck the press gathering as a mob of FIRM members, whipped into a frenzy by Rap Minister Mo, savagely attacked, dismembered and devoured a presumed Feminazi reporter leaving only her support bra as a remnant of the attack.
The bloody melee began when Heaven Lee Vulleva of Madison, Wisconsin, began heckling Rap Minister Mo as he trumpeted his accomplishments of FIRM and the “FIRM Doctrine” which establishes the American man's right to denigrate feminazi’s and other races and creeds preemptively. "The FIRM Doctrine” replaces Theodore Roosevelt's Walk softly and carry a big stick with Ericson's Stomp loudly and shout incoherently ."
"I thought she was too tough," a FIRM member from Maine complained. "And she didn't shave her armpits."
"Believe it or not," added another FIRM member, "she tasted like chicken."
When reporters approached Ericson for his reaction to the assault, he giggled hysterically, laid down on his side, and began running in comical circles on the ground shouting "Moe! Larry! Shemp! Let's go! Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Me-me-me-me-me-me-me!"