Ericson who was cloned, is said to be resting comfortably watching a tracter pull on television and feasting on his typical diet of possum innards, Cracker Jacks and Carling Black Label beer and is said to be delighted with his clone. A FIRM supporter who could not be identified by name, and appeared wearing “I'm with Stupid T-shirt" , stated only that Ericson was recovery well.
The cloned Ericson, who was originally named “Josh” became officially recognized as “Fukhed” by scientists when that nickname untimely shouted during the birth certificate signing ceremony. Fukhed has DNA identical to the original Ericson and is an exact duplicate in all ways, even having the same four teeth and mullet haircut. Testing reveals that the cloned Fukhed has an IQ of 53, which puts him at the top range for FIRM members and fifteen points ahead of the original DNA donor.
FIRM officials are ecstatic over the cloning and said that the procedure may allow FIRM members to rally more then ten people for their next Million Man March. Ericson and Fukhed stated that the new procedure will help to preserve their unique belief system. “FIRM is an organization where we have close-knit families, if you catch my drift,” said Ericson, FIRM’s present Secretary of Culture. “And we’re the only organization in the United States where marrying your first cousin is not only permitted, it’s required. So, cloning allows us to take incest to the next level.”
Later, in response to questions as to how his organization FIRM came up with the idea of cloning, Ericson stated that his organization was formed from a drunken argument at a poker game, not unlike the conception of all his children. "One night we was playing poker and getting mad about people who ain't us that get nice things just because they's all smart and open-minded-like. This ad comes on the TeeVee sayin’ they wus lookin’ fer some volunteers fer DN….uh…..DN…uh…how you spell that? Anyways, Gentics ‘speriments. So here I is!"
In related news, this reporter has learned that Ericson has asked the cloned Fukhed for its hand in marriage. Sources says that the Fukhed has accepted the matrimonial proposal and that the couple will wed in the summer of 2005 when Fukhed reaches what FIRM members consider a suitable age of maturity at age 2.