So much has happened with Ted and his ex. Back in May/June Ted filed for custody of his 3 kids (the younger 2 were disrobed by their stepbrother, but they ran screaming before anything could happen). His ex countersued with stuff including me using a belt on his kids (NEVER happened). I don't know what ended up happening with the court or his ex, because . . . .
On June 21 I found out that I'm pregnant! (Met online 11/99, engaged 7/02, he's been battling his ex since before I met him and still is, to my knowledge). In July Ted began ignoring me. Aug 22 there was a blow up where he insulted me and disrespected my father (died 6/03 - now not only my family wants to kick his a$$, but my ex (who highly respected my father) wants to kick his a$$). Anyway, the next contact I had from him was on Nov 21 when he came into my office to inquire about his email account, not me nor the baby - maybe a 3 minute contact before he left. My daughter is due 2/20 (9 weeks).
If you remember from my posts of the past, I go above and beyond to have my ex involved with our son. And to help Ted with his ex & 3 kids. But the one time in our relationship that I need to lean on him, he bailed. So, my plans are made and they don't include him. (His kids & ex still live 5 hours away and he still lives about 5 miles from me.) I do plan to put his name on the birth certificate, but my daughter will have my last name. Oh, his family learned of the baby back in July and I have not had contact from any of them. So, I have no intention to notify him nor his family of the birth. I plan for my daughter to know of him and his family, as much as I know of them, but seeing how little they think of her, . . . . well you see what I mean. He doesn't even know that she's a she.
When my ex disappeared from our son's life for 15 months at age 4, he wasn't striken from his life (now 14). If Ted eventually wants to know his child, it will be under controlled legal terms. I don't see where I have any options.
It's guys like Ted doing crap like this that gives fathers bad names. But I had the best father in the world and know that all fathers aren't bad guys. Children are wonderful! And they do benefit from both parents. I wish you the best in your situation.
Elizabeth
Southern Illinois