Okay, it seems petty, but I am trying to work out how to send clothing to BM for my daughter with the least amount of conflict. I am ordered to provide adequate clothing for her to wear and BM is ordered to return it cleaned and in good repair. My wife actually does the sending, and sends by my standards too much, as she wants her SD to have "choices" as well as nice clothing. Unfortunatly, BM will return items torn, stained, and unwashed every time. That is, if she doesn't keep half of them as well. We are not getting CS, so we do not have money to replenish and renew her wardrobe every month or so. Add to this that BM keeps telling my daughter that my wife sends inadequate clothing, or complains about what we send (which I have to wonder if it is so bad why she keeps it all the time) and I feel like our daughter is being put in the middle. Then I tried to speak to BM about the situation simply telling her we cannot afford to have this happen and would appreciate getting everything back, in good repair, each visitation. Then the next time my daughter went there she came back saying that Mommy told her we "yelled" at her mom for the clothing not being washed, but she doesn't have time to do the laundry and we were going to yell at her again and be mad. Well, I never mention this issue to my daughter, and do not like BM bringing her into it. Would I still be following the court order if I simply sent a couple pair of pants and a few shirts, socks, underwear, PJs, ect. and told BM to keep them at her house? I thought about doing this, then telling BM to send it back when it no longer fit, or was not weather appropriate, and we will replace it then. Of course, BM will no longer be getting the nice clothing we normally send, as I will simply send what is necessary, and not our nicest stuff. If I do this is it still providing what you would call "adequate" clothing? And do you think this may lessen the friction for my daughter, or would it make it worse?
