The positive thing is that as a person in society, it has always been a goal of mine to affect people's lives in a positive way. This entire experience has brought to me a major career change and I am currently in college and will be working towards a degree in law so I can do advocacy work for battered women.
The funny thing is, the very same things you are saying about the ex's in your situation are the very same things I have heard said about me! Oh, I supposedly watch porn with my children, I am not in touch with reality, I have delusions of granduer, I really don't work parttime plus run my own business plus attend college fulltime and raise two little bright and energetic kids! I supposedly hit him and treated him poorly...(all of these things are typical of abusive men in denial) Blah, blah, blah. He even uses his new-found belief in God against me. I am actually a true Christian and he is now playing the part of one to look good to his friends and family yet still goes in to court and lies, denies the kids as his, etc.
You are right, people don't realize the damage they are doing.