For a long time, he wouldn't give his address as he was ordered to in the court order so I would know where my kids were when he had them. correct he should have given you the home address, next time you are in court make sure to consider adding this clause to the parenting agreement.
Sometimes he doesn't let me talk to them when he has them, and let me tell you, I need to hear their voices so I know they are okay. He knows that. He still tries to control things but then will say I am trying to control him! umm wow. Hun you are the control freak on this one. without scouring over old post, I believe you said he just now got overnights, meaning he has them a very short time. NO YOU DON"T need to call to tuck the kids in or ask if they are okay. That is your need to control their time with him because YOU can't trust him. although I understand your reasons, you are making it worse. You are telling the kids by your actions. DAD can't take care of you. He is right in this case. Now with that being said parents should be able to communicate both ways. if they are there for a few days then a call is not a big deal. I would guess that your calling may also be upsetting the kids afterwards. Especially if you have the "are you doing okay" "has dad done this or that" "did you brush your teeth ect" eventually they will start to lie to you because dad's house may be different as to how things go or what is allowed.
Tonight is the perfect example....he told me via telephone "pack a variety of shoes...I want them to have a variety of shoes this weekend"...Now for starters, he is to provide those things at his house and he can well afford it.
well that depends. It sounds as though you have primary custody, and that would typically mean he pays support. AS the CP you are responsible for providing their needs. NCP pays you, then you see to it. So NO you are supposed to provide for their visits. If it is joint custody then what you say may be true. BUT you are putting an issue with him above the kids.
The other thing is that since I said he could keep them through the 4th, I asked if he was traveling with them to see family (so I would know where my kids were) he won't tell me! He claims that he doesn't know where I am with the kids when I have them but I have never withheld info from him when he asks. It's all a game to him...one big exhausting game. Yes it would be courtesy to say hey we are going her. BUT only courtesy and you and he are too emotional to be at that point. HE does not have any obligation legally to tell you where he is going to be every second of the day. Are you really saying if he called you every morning to say "where all will you be today" you would have no problems with that" Let's be honest you would be upset. You said he could keep them, so let him keep them and LET GO!
okay now side note, why did you agree to extra time if you believe he is hurting them?