correct he should have given you the home address, next time you are in court make sure to consider adding this clause to the parenting agreement. It's already in the agreement and has been from day one....he jumps from place to place
Hun you are the control freak on this one. without scouring over old post, I believe you said he just now got overnights, meaning he has them a very short time. NO YOU DON"T need to call to tuck the kids in or ask if they are okay. That is your need to control their time with him because YOU can't trust him. although I understand your reasons, you are making it worse. You are telling the kids by your actions. DAD can't take care of you. He is right in this case. Now with that being said parents should be able to communicate both ways. if they are there for a few days then a call is not a big deal. I would guess that your calling may also be upsetting the kids afterwards. Especially if you have the "are you doing okay" "has dad done this or that" "did you brush your teeth ect" eventually they will start to lie to you because dad's house may be different as to how things go or what is allowed.
Very wrong assumptions on your part....sorry. Just like he calls every night to talk to his children that they are with me, I want the same courtesy. I never refuse him contact with his children. He uses my children as leverage to upset and control me, ie: making me think he kidnapped my oldest and left me stranded in my second pregnancy.....I do not ask if they are okay or if their dad "has done anything to them" or any of the other really weird things you said...True, I do need to know they are okay....batterers are criminals....and you forget that he did assault me while pregnant and while holding a 2 1/2 month old in my arms as the 18 month old looked on....I think that qualifies as someone to have parenting ability concerns about.
See, this rubs me the wrong way, because you are taking that stance like so many women in your situation do and making me sound like I am some flip-flop needy nut. He's had overnights since Nov '04 and has exercised custody since then in about 5 different places.
well that depends. It sounds as though you have primary custody, and that would typically mean he pays support. AS the CP you are responsible for providing their needs. NCP pays you, then you see to it. So NO you are supposed to provide for their visits. If it is joint custody then what you say may be true. BUT you are putting an issue with him above the kids.
Actually, no....two reasons....1. I am not required to supply anything for the visits per our court system and 2. With him making $70,000 per year and me making less than $10,000...I think he can well afford to have his own things for the kids as the courts said he should. It doesn’t affect the kids negatively if he has to provide for them when they are there…this is a man who cried the blues to me a few months ago about how he struggles and I sent food from WIC for my kids only to find out he makes 7 times more than I do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT only courtesy and you and he are too emotional to be at that point. HE does not have any obligation legally to tell you where he is going to be every second of the day. Are you really saying if he called you every morning to say "where all will you be today" you would have no problems with that" Let's be honest you would be upset. You said he could keep them, so let him keep them and LET GO!
See, you are not a mother are you? No matter who my children are with I want to know where they are within reason. If they are leaving the state, like they are this weekend after I talked to someone in his family, I think I have a right to know that. In addition, if he asks me anything about the kids I never deny that information. I don't care where HE is...I want to know where they children that I gave birth to and have a mother-child bond with. It's all that simple. Just because he is their father it doesn’t make it right for him to withhold their whereabouts to me.
It is his visitation weekend Fri at 6pm (he is late...like usual) until 6pm Sunday, plus he gets the 4th. There wasn't much point in them coming home Sunday night after a long road trip to have them picked back up a day later...I am trying to save MY KIDS time in the car....I have had to endure almost two years of being concerned and deal with the things I do with my kids. I have to have faith that the day will come that the truth will come out.
Do you see how you are villifying me as a mother because I am doing things that any loving mother would do? And, you don't know me from Adam, but I am a good, productive citizen, a 2 time home owner by myself and I am going to be 39 years old next month...
I am kind of sitting here laughing to myself because this is the kind of assumption process that needs to stop...you are missing the point that HE is the one who is being controlling…it doesn’t harm HIM in any way for me to know where my kids will be…it harms ME not to know.