My sons father and I have been sharing custody of our son for 3 years (thanks in large part to the old timers on this site like cd, slcdad.. is he still around by the way.. and catherine for talking me into trying it)things generally go well between us.
Last fall he remarried, and my son now has an amazing stepmom. she really has been a huge help to both me and my x when it comes to our son and I couldnt really ask for anything more of her.
We just redid our child support calculations as we all decided to relocate closer to each other to eliminate traveling for exchanges. We based the calculations on my son spending 190 days a year w/ me and 175 w/ his dad and stepmom and everyone was satisfied with the agreement. I don't need the child support, so my x pays it into a college mutual fund account for our son each month rather than to me, which has made the collection process relatively painless because x knows exaclty where the $ is going.
Anyway.. the reason we agreed to the schedule we did was because x was so adamant that we could work together to ensure that son has 2 homes and transitions easily between the two etc etc. and I believed he was sincere. This was all well and fine until the ink dried on the judges signature on our stipulated agreement dried.. since we reached our agreement a month ago x has more or less fallen off the face of the earth when it comes to our son (and not to mention to his wife)!
Instead of taking his weeks with son this month he has taken son to stepmom and gone camping etc w/ his friends 2 hours away. I normally wouldn't have a problem w/ this because son likes being w/ stepmom and she's really good w/ him too, but stepmom is pregnant and due anyday now. She has asked me to keep son if dad isnt around because she's just too tired to care for him right now.. which I completely understand.. I actually feel pretty bad for her. She has no family here except for x and son.. and with x 2 hours away doing god knows what for the last 2 weeks+ she is on her own if she goes into labor.
I was going to sit back and let x work through whatever it is he's doing right now and see what happens, but today he has pushed me to the edge of my sanity and I'd love nothing more than to wring his neck until he reenters reality!! He knows that on Wednesday's (his night w/ son every week) I have to work late and have no back up care for son, which is why we built it into our schedule that son stays w/ him every Wednesday. I called to let him know that son is on medicine for an infection and that I left it and the instructions w/ the daycare for him to pickup w/ son tonight. He actually had the nerve to say that son will be much more comfortable at home in his own bed while sick.. so I'll just have to keep him home tonight.
Ugh. I'm just pissed. he's apparently going through some sort of midlife something or other.. but he's taking it out on son. I've made arrangements with my boss to leave early tonight.. but I'm sure I'll hear about it in my annual review next month. I just can't believe how quickly he's gone from "son needs 2 homes" to "son needs to stay at home -- yours -- when he's sick".
What a jerk. Thanks for the vent thought if you've made it this far through my post. I needed to get that off my chest to move on for the day... I'm sure he'll come around, I just wish he'd grow up already.. its getting old coddling him every year or so while he has his meltdowns.