First, if divorce is not an option then say goodbye. But what is stopping her from doing it again...and again...you are thinking of self, not kids.
If it were me, I would not stand for it. I would file for divorce, serve her where she is, go for full custody then settle once you have her attention. This is childish games she is playing. These are kids, not pets. They are away from dad, from friends, from school, etc. Come on, this is the way you want them raised? She has no problem simply ripping your kids from you? And you are going to reward this by following her like a puppy dog
However, sounds like there is more to the story...and this probably didn't just come from left field. There have probably been indicators of these type of actions comming. Regardless, try to work it out. If she does not seem ammicable then go for 100%, settle for the middle. Just b/c you file does not mean it has to go thru. However, don't do or say things in public, to family that would make the relationship unfixable. Many people go off telling all sorts of crap to everyone. Then they want to repair things but the damage is too severe.
p.s. You don't have $$$ for vacation but you can simply uproot the entire family and start over? Hmmmm