If you like you can go to seek out the advice of an attorney or collaborative lawyer called Liz Kate. See http://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/018.htm
She will tell you that there is really only one parent that matters in a child's life - the mother.
Your course of action therefore is to use every means at your disposal to persuade the father of your children that you must be obeyed in all things (for example whether he gets involved the correct number of times in scout activities etc.). If he doesn't comply with these arrangements then he has only himself to blame when he finds his limited role curtailed even further.
If you are as hard as she is, and as skillful in your manipulation of the situation and your ex. as she is then how can you fail.
Otherwise you might try to sort things out on the father of your child's terms, where possible or reasonable, quit bitching about it all, and see what becomes of things.
Just my highly uninformed opinion you understand.
All the best, Graham