Clearly VAStepMom "benefited" by saying that it was acceptable. And clearly from what HRUs said: "that would be on her time and if she incisted on that time being spent with her NEW HUSBAND< AND FAMILY...I would accept it...why? Because it is out of my hands. Duh!", it's ALL about the latter because this man has ROFR so 1) it's NOT "out of his hands" and 2) by having ROFR he understands the importance of children being in the care of their natural parents instead of a 3rd party caregiver.
And the question wasn't about whether one had "control", but how one would one feel.
I know that I was very upset...angry actually, to discover that our oldest daughter was no longer living in her father's house during her Senior year in high school, AND that that information had been deliberately withheld from me!
Sure one can argue that that is "different"...a single weekend verus several months, but is it really? When I find out that someone has lied to me, I can't but question how many OTHER lies they have told. I also can't help but question whether they are lying the NEXT time they tell me something.
If it's not that big of a deal, if it's REALLY not the other parent's "business"...then why lie about it in the first place? Because you KNOW it's wrong?