Victoria, the reality is that you did not make a decision when you were 12. The judge made the decision. The judge had a lot of things to consider in making his decision and your letter may or may not have been one of the factors that he was thinking about. So none of this is your fault.
You also do not make a decision at age 16. This is between your parents and, if they can not agree, it may be up to a judge again. The letter you signed 4 years ago may (or may not) have been important then, but it is meaningless now.
Divorce is so hard and I feel bad for you to miss your siblings. Talk to your parents. It is up to them, not you.
