When you say:- "There is no difference...."
-referring to same sex couple and their legal rights as "parents" compared with other parents you reveal alot about the value of "Equality rights type legislation".
As you know I object to many aspects of the family law system in the US and across the Western world, and therefore would agree with the originator of this thread and especially the expression of being appauled at the lack of support he received in the courts.
You know very well my arguments or views on the law you practise and generally commend as being virtuous, so I won't try to put them forward again here in any detail.
I do want to give a link to another forum for fathers based in Australia where many of these same issues are discussed:-
http://forum.dadsontheair.com/
If socomlogist goes there he will find a thread concerning a group of fathers wishing to write a book about their experiences, which he may find useful because of the similarity of their experiences.
My final word here is that you support a family law system able to justify permitting the exclusion of perfectly good fathers (or mothers) who have never harmed their child, whilst at the same time justifying giving their support to the parent-child relationship for some bad fathers (such as one who has abandoned their child) because the child says they wish this contact and the father concerned might be all a particular child has to turn to. I wish to see good fathers and mothers able to expect the courts support if they meet a few straightforward criteria (like as I've said already their constancy, lack of being any threat to anyone, having had a meaningful relationship with the other parent prior to split up - that kind of thing).
You may say the courts provide support to good parents already but so many of us know that in practise the support we receive is very limited and open to all kinds of abuse (such as fraudulent evidence being used against us, even from the mouths of our own children). I'm not saying that poor parents who have abandoned their kids shouldn't sometimes continue to be supported by the courts. Do this by all means in the hope their interest in their children improves, and that the biological link they enjoy comes to the fore, but do take away the freedom the courts have to assist those excluding good parents by, for example, very often even failing to enforce the court's contact orders etc.
All the best, Graham