It's amazing what you can do when you have no other choice but to succeed. I have spent the last several months caring for my dying father with less than minimal help for my sisters...though they were quite generous with their criticism. And now...when the end is near and I need their help the most...all I have gotten is an email from the youngest saying that she really didn't think a Memorial Service was necessary since it would be just the three of us. I though my SO was going to come unglued when I told him. Hell...without any effort I counted almost three dozen people that I know will come.
First thing you do is you get the CS paperwork filed and served as quickly as possible and then let it go...set it aside until you hear back from the courts. The WORST that can happen is that they say no and if he goes into arrearages...ya let that go to because even if it goes to court...he's NOT guilty of "wilfull failure to pay".
Second...I don't know what kind of insurance you have or don't have, but contact the billing offices asap and ask for financial aid paperwork and get it returned. Good chance they'll write off what the insurance doesn't pay and if you don't have insurance...they can't NOT treat him.
Third...Department of Human Resources...see what kind of "aid" you qualify for. Ya'll got kids so you should do ok there.
Fourth...don't forget to contact a PI attorney is the crops crossed the line.
Fifth...breath.