It boils to down to as a parent if your child is told to do something, they need to do it. If an 11 yo didn't answer there phone while out running around with friends, you'd better believe most parents would have grounded them. And if refusing to follow parental directions became a regular occurence conversations very similar to Alec's occur in the most normal of families and then some will even put them in a residential program.
The kid might be a victim, but they also play a role in alienation and should be held accountable for thier actions.
Was his choice of words wrong, yes, but few people are perfect. and most don't have it aired to the public