I just wanted to thank you for acknowledging fathers day here.
I also wanted to tell you that fathers day received some recognition on a National Association for Non-Custodial Mothers forum, albeit slightly reluctantly or tongue in cheek for some contributors.
Here is the contribution of one of them, which perhaps illustrates their mchinations on the subject:-
"Yes- I second the motion! A father, is an important part of any child's life. Sometimes dad's can't or won't give their best selves, but they are father's nonetheless- I'm thinking of some of the men in my groups here. They all have the capacity to change, they really do. A child deserves both his mother and his father and if that requires special steps to see that the child is safe and well then those steps should be taken."
I told them I was slightly underwhelmed by that endorsement of us dads, or the terms it was couched in, but nonetheless I accepted it was probably better than nothing.
In response one contributor to the forum told me:-
"There is not a man alive that has the same bond with a child that a mother has the possibliliy of having. Unfortunately, not all mother's use this chance, there are some crappy mothers out there but even the worst mother GREW HER CHILD INSIDE HER. I understand that it's controversial but it's true. Secondly, nearly everyone here has had at least one bad experience with their children's father or another father figure. We're not out to represent anyone on this thread, we're being honest about our feelings."
I guess those views will receive some critical scrutiny on this forum, but I suggest it may well be that this woman has given us a widespread view amongst women. Maybe its true to say alot of men don't have great nurturing qualities to show their children - I'd subscribe to that view myself, but I feel very uncomfortable with the idea all fathers should have their relationships with their children controlled or always taking second place to the mothers, that I think is implied in their views.
All the best, Graham
P.S. By the way I neglected to send my own father a card, as did all my siblings, but I did try to telephone him (intercepted by my narcissistic mother unfortunately, although I'm not sure how comfortable either of us might have been with any overt expressions of affection anyway).