I haven't posted here much over the past year or so.. but I've been here off and on since late 2001..
I need to vent about my wonderful x and his chrming new wife, and I'm hoping to fall on the ears of those who were always here to knock me out of my pity party and back into reality before (Gecko, Roman, Catherine, and Jeannie -- a slap back into the real world would be much appreciated!)
Anyway, in my own little world, attorney fees are just a fact of life. I think of my attorney payments like my car and house payments.. I'm always going to have one. At least once a year, my x stands up and rocks the boat. As my mother puts it, once a year she and I spring clean our houses -- and once a year my x and his mother find a lawyer to file something against me.
I have full custody of our child.. both physical and legal. My x (off and on) has had 50/50 physical and joint legal.. but historically it has always been too much responsibility within the year and he presents another stipulated parenting plan going back to NCP. It's a crazy rollercoaster depending on my x's mood at any given time.
I agree to 50/50 with certain limitations. ie: only if there is a ROFR for any period of over 10 hours or more. our child doesnt change schools, and x has to take some interest in his educational and medical life. (to date, he refuses to attend appointments or speak to doctors when they call, and he refuses to attend parent days, open houses, or conferences at the school.)
So now that you have a brief background, and hopefully remember me -- my current saga. X filed for full custody a month after he remarried. 6 months later we still hadnt been to court and they had another child. that was a year ago and we still havent been to court.. thats a long story in and of itself, all i'll say is that while it's extremely frustrating to still be going in circles, I trust my attorneys entirely and am leaving it in their hands.
I will not agree to the schedule my x is proposing. They live over an hour away and want our child to move to their school (where there are 3, yes 3, kids in the entire first grade class!) and to see me alternating weekends and e.o. holiday.
I am not unfit. I occasionally drink socially, I dont smoke - ever, i've never done any drug, I have a great job that is 100% flexible around our child's activities, and I'm a foster parent to two other children for what the social worker believes to be very long term.
My x has good days and bad. He and his wife both have drug habits (marijuana - I know it could be worse) and they drink excessively at least 4 times a week. There close network of friends all have convictions for drinking and drug offenses except for 1.
I havent brought any of this up in court yet, because frankly i hope i never have to. One day our child will be old enough to go to the court house and pick up this file, and i dont want him to ever see me slinging any mud.
my x on the other hand is a different story. their friends and family make allegation after allegation, and I disprove them one after another. it's an endless cycle.
My present state of frustration however deals strictly w/ x's wife.
she is the push behind this most recent suit. she has told me many times that she doesnt want to work and cant afford not to unless they have our child in addition to theirs.. and that x wont let her stay home with just one kid as long as he has child support to pay out.
she has a drinking problem in my humble opinion -- she drinks to the point of blackness at least twice a week.. and has recently started doing so while our child is there for their parenting time. this past weekend she was so drunk she started approaching acquaintances (not friends - just casual acquaintences) about me and was stating that she knows i'm a good mom and just wants all this to stop etc etc..
what the he!! they filed on me! they have 50/50 (alternating weekends and all extended holidays and summers). I wont agree to more than 50%.. so whats the problem. All they have to do is pick up the phone and tell their lawyer (who has said in depositions that he knows they have no chance) to withdraw the motion..
grr.. her poor me act is so old. this is her fight. she started it. and if shes tired of it, they can call an end to it.