Like you, I have been rather severely alienated by my X, and only through sheer perseverance, has my child not been drastically affected.
I've had not less than 13 different judges in the past 9 years, many of whom have recused themselves due to a personal connection with my X, a well established attorney. We don't live is some small town; it's a major metro area. We have numerous lawyers, most of whom only stole our money. We've had numerous other family court charlatans, mediators, arbitrators, counselors, evaluators, yada, yada. Not a single one of them gave a damn about our kid, nearly every single one of them merely "parroted" the same words that my X used in court. Child's best interest is a joke, these charlatans are only here to protect the (presumed) custodial parent's best interest. Funny thing is, my X isn't even a CP, at least not a single judge ever stated so. But discrimination and bias are rampant, and that's what keeps the family court gravy train rolling.
Some things are far too important to allow the government to interfere, and family issues are among them. Regrettably, the modern trend is more governmental interference, not less.
I was so fed up by the system, that I started this website, largely out of pure frustration. Prior to that, I knew nothing about computers, but I learned, as part of the cost. Subsequently, I was so deep under water, I started attending law school.
I'm graduating from law school soon, after four long years of study. Frankly, I'm more pessimistic than ever about "custody reform". That's not to say that there aren't some bright spots on the horizon, but the "system"
won't be altered, let alone dismantled, easily. Too many mouths feeding from that gravy train, pure and simple.
Don't know what more to say, except stay in touch, and good luck.