As is my want I posted your situation on another forum but only came up with mainly negative/unsympathetic comments for you.
Here they are:-
1st post.
Here is what I would type back to the poster in that situation.
1. You knew what you were getting into when you married him. So quit complaining and start coming up with solutions.
2. If she truly believes this woman's motivation is the money, then offer to take custody of the kids and continue paying her the support. If she goes for it . . . then continue paying the support for six months or so (to prove it was only about the money) and then take her back to court to have the support stopped (because any court would).
3. There are some discrepencies in the post. For example:
QUOTE
The girls have been brain washed so badly that there is no respect or affection between them and my husband. One of them wants to come live with us, but is terrified of her mom.
If they've been brainwashed SO bad, why would one of them want to come and live with you? That makes no sense.
4. Having 8 kids and "deciding" to be a SAHM is not something to insult someone over. I have ONE child and have made the choice to be a SAHM. Does she know how much childcare would cost for 8 kids if she wasn't home to care for them, or be there for them when they get home from school?? This is a BIG pet peeve of mine right now because my EX screamed at me on the phone the other day to "GET A JOB". I pay my child support on time EVERY month (even paid more than court ordered so I could have a credit for the summer so I could skip a month) and HE is the one screaming he can't afford to pay for the Christmas airline tickets . . and he's yelling at ME because I don't make more money. Go figure. Sorry, I'm just SICK of people thinking it's THEIR business what other people choose to do for a profession; including being a stay at home Mom. What happened to the days when Mom's were insulted FOR working??
5. When the girls call to "grip and complain", then the Father needs to explain very politely that he pays child support and he pays it on time. He needs to say he's sorry that there are more material things they may want, but he is doing what the courts have ordered him to do after the divorce and if they want nicer material things then they need to ask their Mother because she has custody. Period! Depending on the children's ages, he has to teach them the importance of following court orders to make them understand that he IS doing what he's supposed to be doing.
Here's another discrepency (that I didn't catch until I'd already typed everything above):
QUOTE
I am tired of this and have thought about divorce because my husband can't support our family because she is trying to get him for more money again. I get screwed every year on tax refunds because he does have back child support to pay. But that is another story.
No, that's not another story. That is EXACTLY the story you are posting about. You're complaining because the Mom is trying to get more support and the kids are complaining because they want/need more things. Well, you've just admitted the Father is NOT paying his support on time or for the entire amount because there's BACK child support that's owed.
The answer to this entire post is, "PAY THE SUPPORT AND PAY IT ON TIME".
2nd post:
Does she file an injured spouse form? I mean seriously....if she wants her part of the return she can have it, if she is willing to wait a bit longer and fill out extra paperwork. It really isn't that difficult.
Okay I haven't posted those comments to hurt you Leila, merely to show you there are some critical opinions out there, if you didn't already know. Sometimes its worth knowing what you may be up against.
I'm much more supportive of you and your husband as I've said in my earlier post - I think children are being brought up to disrespect their parents by being told its only their interests that matter (then we parents get lectured by all and sundry that we aren't caring enough about our kids, as you've seen here).
Good luck again, I hope coming here has at least given you a sounding board.
Graham