I feel the outlined factors below should be held in the highest regards to the welfare of my two children (ages 4 & 5) I feel the safety and the overall structure is not in place with the current living situation and custody agreement.
1. The love, affection, and other emotional ties existing between my fiancée and the children: We are more concerned with the love and affection of the children, Kim continues to see Ron and has stated that her and Ron (Ron was recently arrested for sexual assault of a child) are working on the relationship when in fact she needs to pay more attention to the children. My daughter is obviously having issues since she is acting out to my ex and not to me. Brenda has informed me that our daughter had physically assaulted her on two separate occasions.
1. She had punched Kim in the stomach.
2. She bit Kim because of a temper tantrum.
2. The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give the Child love, affection, and guidance and to continue the education: Kim is more concerned with her bowling average. She continues to bowl at least 2-3 times per week. She has ignored the concerns that our daughter is acting out for a reason. She acts like it is no big deal that the man who has been in her life for 3-4 years is no longer living with them and that it is nobody’s business what happened. (Her quote on her myspace page) In fact it is my business. What if he did the same thing to my children? She refuses to admit that this may have happened and will not explore the issue of having my children see a counselor.
3. The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to provide the child with food, clothing, medical care or other remedial care: When I have the children we do family events together. On Fridays that we have the kids, we make the family meal together and plan what we will eat in the morning for breakfast. My children have told me that Mom just takes them to the gas station and has them eat a Doughnut on the way to day care. We currently have the children for 4 weeks in the summer and during that time we set a schedule and stick to it. Meals, naps, bed time and most importantly we allow enough time in the morning to sit down and eat breakfast. Get cleaned up. On more than one occasion the day care has told me that my has been dropped off soaking wet of urine and or dirty. My Daughter told me that she has to get her brother dressed in the morning because her mom was still sleeping because she was out late the night before. My daughter told another child that she is lucky because her mom dos not go out all of the time like her mom does; she then told the little girl that her Kelly (My fiancée) stays home and doesn’t drink beer all the time either. The day care provider has informed Kim and me that the kids are cleaner and happier when they are with me.
Kim thinks our daughter is just being a kid and is generally not concerned with the well being of the children. CPS came to her home and she had to be told “That it is wrong to have a dog that urinates daily on My son’s bed before she got rid of the dog) Kim admitted that she knew the dog was doing this daily and did not bother to change his sheets daily or get rid of the dog. She felt that burning candles’ to mask the smell was sufficient.
4. The children were just told that Ron “Will not be around any more” and I was not to bring him up at all. Ignoring the issue will not make it go away. The children have now lived in an unstable, unsatisfactory Environment, since this issue came up and with her admitting that she and Ron are working on the relationship shows that at some point he will be around my children. Even though it is court ordered that he is to have no contact with minor children. How can you work on something with out being around the children, or if you do this “Working “how much time are you spending with the children?
5. My fiancée and I are planning a May wedding and we will provide permanence, as a family unit it would be best for the children to be in my custody.
6. The moral fitness of the parties involved; On a moral level by her informing others that her and Ron are working on the relationship and continue to see each other shows that she has picked him over the children. I know for a fact that if I was put in the same situation as Kim I would Not be “Working on my relationship” with him I would be working on my relationship with my children.
7. The mental and physical health of the parties involved;
Our day care provider told Kim that our daughter is not acting like she used to and Kim seemed generally disinterested. Kim admitted to me when we were married that when she was younger, her older brother’s friend molested her and she did not do anything about it because she was ashamed. This cycle needs to be stopped.
8. The reasonable preference of the child, (if the court considers the child to be of sufficient age to express preference); I understand that the children are not old enough to make this type of decision but when I asked the children how they felt about spending more time with me, my son was happy but my daughter told me no because her mom told her that since she carried her in her stomach that she is only to live with her. My daughter is only 5. This is not a conversation that you have with a 5 year old. How ever when it comes time to go back with mom I attempt to make it fun and exciting but the kids tell me that they want to stay longer.
9. The willingness and ability of each of the parties to facilitate And encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between The child and the other parent or the child and the parents; I will do a better job of keeping Kim in the loop as to what is going on in the children’s lives. Unlike Kim who only gave me 16 hours notice of my daughter’s first parent teacher conference. She also refused to allow me to enroll our daughter in gymnastics because she did not want my sister to take her to class.
10. My fiancée and I who are in a loving and committed relationship provide a better living situation and is more stable than Kim’s. She allowed a Minor child (under the age of 18) to live with her. This girl is currently and was pregnant with a mid 27 year olds child. The fist day this girl lived with Kim she attempted to have her pick up my children from day care, my children had never met this girl and it took the day care refusal and explanation of” stranger danger” to convince Kim that that would be a bad idea.
11Kim “purposely violated a duty of care” by endangering the welfare of our two children when she knew that her Boyfriend (Ron) was going to be arrested for sexual assault of a minor and allowed him to stay in the same home with her and the children. She told me that she drove him to the city where the crime took place the day before his arrest and that on the way back home he told her what he did. I found out about the arrest the day he turned him self in (One hour before) she told me “that she had seen the affidavit and that it is not what it seams it was only kissing” I found out in the court documents three days latter that she was not telling me the truth.
The problem is she knew that he admitted to the crime the day before yet she did nothing to protect the children by allowing him to stay in the home.
That same day when he was arrested we both agreed that it would be in the best interest of the children to stay with me until we knew what was going to happen. We agreed that she would bring them to my home and make a “No big deal” thing for the kids. One hour latter I called her and she told me to give her some time and she would be over in an hour. An hour and a half latter I called her and she refused to answer the phone. I attempted to call her multiple times and she never picked up and never held up to the agreement. The next day she informed me that she did what she thought was right by ignoring my calls and disregarding what we had agreed to.
12 Kim has continually been given a second chance in life.
I gave her a second chance to work on our relationship when I found out she had been with Ron. She drove 100 miles to meet me while I was on a Business trip prove that it was over between her and Ron. Only to find out she changed her mind a week latter when I was out of town.
Ron even gave her a second chance after Kim cheated on him. Kim admitted this to me directly.
CPS gave her a second chance to get her house in order.
Now she wants a second chance to provide a healthy and loving home.
I have not had the first chance to prove that I can and infact do provide a better home for the Children.
After all of this I was told that I only stand a slim chance to get full custody.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?