Just to give an example of the complexities facing any judge trying to sort out where alienation between a parent and child arose here is a recent post I've taken from another forum (my opinion being that it is the lack of support for one another between the parents that is the greatest cause of the trouble, and you may never be able to get to the bottom of it - is that too obvious a thing to say?):
"Firstly, Hi to all my fellow sisters in pain!!
I just had the most unbelievable thing happen tonite, that I wanted to share it with you to get your thoughts...
I found out that the slug (my ex.) is in therapy and the therapist asked to speak to our daughters who went last night and it was very upsetting hearing what that SOB is trying to say!
So first up was **** (my eldest daughter)-she wasn't too keen to the chick, and was very defensive-which the therapist was good with. She (therapist) seems like she is very open minded, and sees thru my ex., as she asked him when was the first time he fell in love with the girls. He stated that it was when they were born, but the therapist was like, I find that hard to believe and he then said it was when **** (the eldest girl) had surgery when she was 5 weeks old and HE had to hand her over to the doctor...**** (the eldest daughter) chirped in that it was ME that handed her over to the doctor, and my ex. actually said, No, your mom wasn't even there!!!!!
CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE THAT!! I was shocked! I think that this deranged man wants to believe so badly that I'm bad, that he is creating his own little world!
Luckily, the therapist is really having a hard time believing all of this, and then made him sign a paper giving me permission to talk to her, which I guess made him very red faced and nervous.
I promptly told **** (my eldest daughter) that not only was I there, they had to pry her from MY hands to have the life saving surgery...I then told her the name of the doctor who did the surgery, the nurse in recovery, how long she was in NICU-the whole thing-considering I never left her side, I knew all of this...she said that her father said all kinds of things that didn't make sense and to not be suprised if the therapist calls me...Good! I sure hope she does-she must already be seeing that he is a big fat liar and a narcissist.
As I was driving back home from dropping them off, another thought came to mind about that whole story...I WAS STILL NURSING HER!! Now how would that work if I wasn't there....what am I gonna do about this psycho??? He makes me sick! Oh well, I just wanted to share this...
Wish me luck tomorrow for the field trip-if you see me on here before 5 central, you know he put a stop to me going..."
My comments:
So she thinks he's a "psycho" (maybe he is, but is it the only possibility here?), he makes her "sick", and so on..........how do you think these attitudes from their mother might impact upon their children?
Answers on a postcard..............!
Obviously this mother drags everything out of her children, or they feel they must volunteer it (as most children probably do in this situation), and as we know that is another indication of parental alienation or the tactics leading to it.
I must add that on the other forum this mother has so far only received supporting comments, such as "keep going" - the ex. is "so and so" (even though they've never met him of course) and that she should do everything she can to get the therapist on her side etc. etc. etc.
I haven't bothered to respond because I'm getting a reputation for saying "Wait a minute, you chose this man as your partner, and the father of your children" and so on, which doesn't seem to go down too well with some other contributors to the forum. Apparently we are only supposed to be on the forum to give and receive support, so no room for disagreeing with anyone's actions therefore.
Graham