You say you have the child 100% of the time, but the father has every other weekend and three weeknight overnights every two weeks. Do you realize that 100% means ALL of the time? Do the Math. The weekends are the biggest time stretch, and they are a wash and your first three weeknights every two weeks balance out too. That is closer to about a 60% - 40% split, if even that. How do you call THAT 100 per cent???? This just makes you look like a fool.
Did you go to his job and watch this supposedly non-stop flirting or did he tell you of this supposed scandal? Sure, teenage girls flirt, but you sound like you are way too paranoid from where I sit. I don't buy your reasoning, but it doesn't matter now. The damage is done.
The sad thing is that I agree with you on your main point, but you keep throwing other crap in there that makes me wonder if you are really Primary Custodial Parent material. Your main job - if you really are looking at what is best for your son - is to make sure your son has a good relationship with his Dad and Dad's family. Nothing you ever do will be more important to your child.
Yeesh, I wish you would stop exaggerating like you are sooo perfect and he is so terrible. Grow up and start trying to develop the amicable relationship your son needs so badly. You putting "our son" in quotes shows you to be just disrespectful of the father-son relationship. That makes you a classic example of what is the worst thing a divorced parent can do to a child.
At this point he is clearly the better parent, because he shares the child, pays for child rearing costs at BOTH his home AND yours and to top it off you are far too blinded by unrealistic self-admiration to accept him as an equal partner in raising the child. He has the child almost as much time as you do despite traveling so much and working two jobs, yet you claim 100% parenting time (???) and complain he doesn't pay you enough.
If the father moves 6 hours away, I will change my tune about him because that is a crushing blow to your son. He is closing off any chance at 50/50, in my book. No, 50/50 doesn't work from that distance.
So the question is which parent will provide a better primary residence. I truly hope you stop getting defensive and LISTEN to what people are telling you or you WILL lose custody. The father is going to have a home with two "parents". (Dad and Stepmom, I mean.) Contrast that with you and your Mom, who apparently refuses to babysit while you work. (The reason you can't work, right?)
Good luck arguing with the words you are using here against his LAWYER.
Get a job, even if most of the money is going to day care. $175 out of about $200 a week my son makes goes to day care for his baby. Guess what? That gives him $25 a week for diapers and baby food. At least he is trying. GET A JOB! If you go to court any judge will order the father to help pay for day care, if not for all of it. But if you go to court as an irresponsible deadbeat, I don't think the judge will be impressed by your contributions or lack thereof.
Most of all, start learning to accept the fact that your son feels differently about the father than you do. Get committed to an equal partnership with the father in raising the child, even if the Dad screws up and moves away. The least you can do is take a more positive approach to him and what he does to help raise the child.