Yes, you are 100% correct; it's not only fathers who unfairly loose custody rights, its mothers too. I think this is why this site is called "Custody Reform", and not "Men's Custody Reform". Please don't read this as sarcasm, as none is intended. We want to help you.
If there's one thing I learned in Family Court, it's that nothing seems to be ever set in stone, because there's always another battle angle. For example, from what you wrote it appears you have limited visitation as if it's some form of protection for the children, yet it's unjustified. It would seem to me that the first step would be "baby steps"; try to get visitation increased so you can demonstrate that you're a fit and proper parent.
The bad news is, in my opinion, there are 3 things you need to fight this battle: Money, money, and more money. No, this doesn't necessarily mean you have to be rich, but you have to be willing to sell person items you treasure, live like you're on welfare, and give up the simple pleasures in life (movies, going out to eat, etc).
So, where do you stand now? What kind of visitation do you have? Has it been determined that you are an unfit parent? Can you prove that your ex's wife working for the court affected your case? For example, if she works in the "Workman's Compensation" department, I'd say that's going to be tough. But if she works in Family Court in any way, then that's different.
On the other hand, it may not be different. All the judges talk and all the judges talk to all of the clerks...it seems to be one big "screw the parent" party over there, huh?
The key is to act now, and your strength to not give up is very important...don't loose it. We may not be able to help you, but we can most likely help you get a good running start. Oh, and tell us where you stand regarding having a lawy...cough...cough...a lawy...gag...gag...a lier - I mean lawyer (not that there's much difference).
Write back, OK? That's why we're here!